OK so I sort of didn't write anything new for like a month. This is what happens when you don't get paid to do something, which is the only reason to do things, am I right or what?? Moving on, here's the second chapter in "Heavy Orientation" where there's a tiny bit of blood and face-punching to make up for the severe lack of both in chapter one.

OK group this is the first chapter of a new story called "Heavy Orientation" which is about (allegedly, I haven't read it yet) Allison Hull's indoctrination into the sort of ridiculously mysterious courier company known as Feddema Global. There are no dudes in this scene at all.

Before heading back into the proper Two-Fisted Tales of Allison Hull, let's cleanse our palate with a story about one of her first trips to Fort Hook: a field trip to the Museum of Exciting Natural History, complete with a story-within-the-story that features great streams of red hot gore!

We begin our ongoing series conversations culled from the wee, ever-listening ears of the Archivists with a chat between Margaret Feddema and archnemesis James Glenndenning.

Folks, this is the first installment in a series of radio transmissions and field recordings from Fort Hook. It's a snippet of a radio program called Midnite Threnody, hosted by Fabulous Don Swezey, who I find to be more creepy than fabulous but whatever, nobody asked me. It also includes some music by a group called Lissome, in case you get tired of the chatter. This recording is in the handy and popular MP3 format, for your convenience.

This is the fifth and final chapter of "The Mayor," which can now be read in its entirety, perhaps around the fire or the warm glow of your internet device. You guys I swear I will get this site and this feed sorted out soon so it's easier to deal with. But not today! No. Today, I shall drink a terrible drink and play a game where one catapults fowl at swine with malicious intent.

In the fourth chapter of "The Mayor," pretty much everybody SPOILER ALERT dies.

You guys, it's the third chapter of "The Mayor," featuring terrible fish and, of course, a lot of stabbing.

And here's the second chapter of "The Mayor," featuring cerebral hypoxia, myocardial infarction and so much more!

The history of Fort Hook begins, naturally, with infidelity and drowning. Please enjoy this first chapter of a new tale called "The Mayor."

Are you reading this in your RSS reader? Did you know I am typing out this RSS feed by hand like some kind of sad caveman banging rocks together in the hopes of creating agriculture?

Moving on, I'll beef this feed up here pretty soon, but in the meantime I'm just here to let you know there's a new little blurb at the top of the contents page telling you about the Chokeville Twitter, Tumblr, mailing list, and ... RSS feed. Which. Which you don't need to be told about, obviously. Forget I mentioned it. But maybe the other junk will interest you. I don't know, I'm not a mind reader.